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My two favorite times of year are August and Christmas time. August for the celebration of my great love (gushing!) There is something very magical about that time of year. How wonderfully it seems to go from the sticky hot heat of summer to the brisk fall and changing of leaves to the ice snow world of winter. August through December could be my year. Christmas is a very close second. A celebration for loved ones, family and warmth. A time for kindness and hope. I want to wish all of my friends all of that and more. A year of luck, love, happiness and peace.
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Just wanted to share with all my livejournal friends that Nick and I are engaged :) He proposed on Monday August 13th. We're so tired from working our butts off at the new house that maybe I'll share all the little romantic details later :)
 
I will say though, that no date is set and that we're just going to focus on the house and start saving and planning when we can, as we go along. Also, nothing super fancy. A nice, small, intimate gathering of family and friends :)
Current Mood:
loved loved
Current Music:
Marie Antoinette sndtrk
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Oooh! This is SO exciting! First off, I just want to say that I have my moments still, but since November I felt quite depressed and I was bewildered by it. I would literally ask myself "What the hell do I have to be depressed about!?" I felt bad that I was depressed. Now, I know there were a couple of core issues that were affecting me, but I still didn't make the connection that a couple of things could make me feel so LOW when I knew that my life was so GOOD. So if our paths crossed between November and say (I realized that I felt myself again this past weekend) and I seemed off, I was trying not to show it. There were days where I couldn't bear to look in the mirror, talked my way out of getting together with friends and when I couldn't trying so hard to not let it show. But I'm really happy that I feel good right now :)

Sure, those issues still bother me. I'm not happy with my weight, but I'm working on it. Err, will be. I'm not satisfied with my bleak career path, but I'm working on it. And I'm HOPEFUL. One thing that occurred in November was that our Landlord told us he was selling the house we live in (and we hadn't been there a year yet.) I really liked this place and despaired over it because it was the 2nd landlord to do it in two different apartments. I think in that moment, it felt like it wasn't ours anymore and that I was just "staying" there. So I definitely think that affected me.

Ooooh, but the good news is that we put an offer on a house in Stratford. It's adorable but needs work. I'm really excited. Nick is going to the home inspection tomorrow and I'm confident that nothing will stand in our way and that by August 1st 2007 the deed to the house will be ours. I COMMAND IT :)

Also, my hunny got promoted today!! Woooh!
Current Location:
Work. Pooo
Current Mood:
happy happy
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Haha. LJ Is making entry suggestions now?

Favorite word to write: Ubiquitous (Because I like to write u's).

Current Location:
Work. Poooo.
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Sometimes, when people do the wrong things or something is really just plain bad, it might seem like I make excuses for things or I'm just not  blunt enough. But more so, I think it's a the ability to see something differently and show others that perspective.
         
We spent the weekend mostly and Nick's mom's house for Mother's Day and we did a pretty good job of making her feel special. We made her breakfast, did a couple hours of gardening and in general spent time with her. It was nice. I could have done without Nick's sister and her husband bickering the entire time. They're a little draining. But for several reasons that I don't care to go into and well, neither should anyone care to hear, they are a bit special needs.
  
On our way to NJ, we stopped off to see my Auntie to spread a little sunshine in her life. She's been dealing with a pretty awful situation. She's close with her brother, Rob (my Godfather) and he's going through the beginnings of a d-i-v-o-r-c-e and has two kids, a crazy socialite wife and a history of substance abuse. So basically, after being sober for six years, he decided that the stress of life was a free pass to do drugs again. He blew through 6K in about three days and ruined his small chance of custody, a job and a leg to stand on. So he relies on my dear Auntie for everything and gives her nothing in return.

We got both Nick's mom and my Auntie really cute and different flower arrangements for Mother's Day. On saturday morning I went for my walk and went along Fairfield Ave (Desiree & Company) and saw a shop I hadn't seen before. All in all her creations were beautiful and she had great taste. We chatted for quite a while and I let her know that if she needed someone to pick up hours here and there, I'd be interested. She added in that if things take off in her shop, she'd be interested in training me. I was just so excited at the idea of that!!!! Sometimes I feel so lost with what to do with myself. While I don't count my chicks before they're hatched, I totally fell in love with the idea of working under someone with a vision and learning a creative trade. We'll see. Maybe one day I'll grow a pair and know what style is and get into interior design. Who knows?
Current Mood:
drained drained
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Hey Look! My journal has a new name!

For quite some time, my journal's title has been.. well, sort of irrelevant.

But I do have a story to tell. And although I may not share it with many (or any), It is my story.

But as a tribute to my old journal's title...

We changed the world in a cellar wine bar/Reached out an rearranged the stars/Two empty hearts on an ocean liner/Two empty bottles win a dreamers battle/Still haven’t found the age of reason/We didn’t know we could get hung for treason/We knew the charges but never the crime/The charges haunt them like a nursery rhyme/Win some, lose some, lonesome/Some mistake, there must be some mistake/This emptiness is more than I can take/Their laughter pierced through us and it went on forever/‘Cause all they seemed to do was talk about the weather/We changed it all though they never new it/We tore it down and made it better/We fell in love though they never knew it/And on the seventh day we lay together/Still haven’t reached the age of reason/Hey! Didn’t you know you could get hung for treason/We knew the charges but never the crime/The charges haunt us like a nursery rhyme/Win some, lose some, lonesome/Some mistake, there must be some mistake/Fear dies hard and pride you cannot shake/We tore it down and made it better/But somehow we couldn’t change the weather/Some mistake, there must be some mistake/This emptiness is more than I can take/We tore it down and made it better/But somehow we couldn’t change the weather/I’m a twentieth-century dreamer/And I’ve got no sense of place or time/I keep returning to the scene of the crime/You’ve got the magic but you ain’t got the style/Put on your cement coat tonight we’re on trial/I still haven’t reached the age of reason/Maybe our kind of love was out of season/I couldn’t bear to see a grown man cry/The charges haunt me like a nursery rhyme/Win some, lose some, lonesome/Some mistake, there must be some mistake/Hearts just crack they never really break/And sometimes is better than never/But it won’t be the same/So let’s talk about the weather  - The Radiators

Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
bedtime!
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I am usually known to have pretty odd and bizarre dreams but this one was quite alarming. First I dreamt of traveling alone by way of underground trains and elevators to.. Alaska? My last stop (in Alaska) was at a pizzeria. I went to the rooftop to admire the view. Was I viewing the Aleutian islands? It was a beautiful scene and I wasn't cold. Back home I'm watching the news and there's a report of a giant icecap? that slammed into Canadia and sent North America flying Southwest, basically into Africa. Mass chaos everywhere. Destruction, collapsed buildings, earthquakes. Naturally, a sudden climate change. I was scared of losing Nick, but I don't remember how or if we needed to find each other or if we stayed together.
I remember walking to Grand Central to try to pull people out of trains.

So I wake up pretty frightened, but comforted by the fact that this scenario is impossible. I go back to sleep for a couple hours, get up, have breakfast. Then I did something I don't do everyday. I checked my MSN horoscope and it went something like this: You're not one to put much stock in the inner workings of dreams, virgo. But you may have had one so accurate in it's prediction that it was scary. Yadda yadda.

Now, I don't really think this will happen, but I hadadmit it was pretty wierd.
Another weird thing was that in some part of the dream, when I was taking an elevator down, the only other person  who was waiting was a black man. But he wouldn't get on with me. He waited for the next elevator. And then in another part Nick and I were in bed but his mother was between us. O_o
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Sooo. Long time, no post but alot goes on. My last post was nearly three months ago. At the time I was preparing for my new job. In my new job. I'm a bit bored, but at least I have a lot more free time, I'm less stressed and I don't feel trapped. Sometimes the thought that I walked away from a challenging creeps into my mind.. Another thing is that I went from a pretty big company with several offices nationally, to one small office with the same seven people. Every day. But at least they're nice people.

Also since then... July wasn't too hectic, we visted friends in Boston and Ny once each (Sorry Geoff & Sara, next time :) We also had Emily over and I got more drunk than evar! Nick wasn't happy with me, no. I can truly say that I never saw a room spin till then, nevermind the stomach pyrotechnics, as Nick called them... August was pretty busy, but a long, lovely month. Saturday morning, August 12th, Nick and I set out on our first real vacation of the year to Cape Cod. We stayed at the Blue Gateways B&B and on the 14th we celebrated our 2nd anniversary, as much as in love as when we met. (Oh noes! I have diabetes!) The rest of the week there, we mostly layed on the beach, frollicked in the surf and indulged on fried seafood. I even got a bit of a tan, I was so excited. But how quickly it faded.. My hunny is still brown though. For my birthday, Nick took me into NY for a surprise. We dined at a french bistro, La Bonne Soupe, where I remembered how much I love quiche. Oh, how good it is. From there we went to see Wicked which was awesome, I'm gonna get the soundtrack. Oh, except some post-menoausal woman puked and got a little on me and Nick. Nick is happy to say that I didn't lose my cool and tell the hag to DIAF. Instead I sat there enjoying the performance until intermission when I could cleanse my hands. See, I have a great imagination and I'm neurotic. And in my pretty little head I thought, "Oh great. I bet she has plague. What else could it be? And she got plague on us." I know, I'm rediculous. The only other draw back was that I wore pointy toed kitten heels to look cute and my feet hurt soooooooo bad. Even Nick's feets were hurting. We don't remember how to where real shoes anymore, we've lived in flip flops since at lease July for me. We should work on that. So yah, August is a month I will always cherish.

So far this month,  We visited Hamonassett Beach a couple times. (Trying to squeeze in as much beach before it's too late.) We got a good deal and stayed in Providence last night for Waterfire, which is always very romantic. On the 29th we have a Yankee game and then in October we're going to Vermont to experience foliage, Vermont cheese and Vermont mapley-goodness. Yays. Sharon, I will bring you maple candies, I promise.

Current Mood:
cheerful cheerful
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I could write about my new job. The excitement of being closer to home and starting something new. The fears I have of leaving my current position. The place where I spent 6 years. And although I've had some successes and some good times, I really feel as though I haven't gained much from the experience. I mean if we're being honest. At 23 going on 24 I feel like I've been an old woman for the last 5 years. I feel a rebellion starting to take place within me. Not wanting to be mature anymore and just have fun. But can I do it?

But no, instead I want to say that I am an emotional person. The kind of girl that cries in movies and because of sad stories. And the tragedies from not so far away, the tsunamis in Asia and the hurricanes from years before (but most notable Katrina) I cry each time I see footage of flooded waters and displaced people. Let down by their God. No mercy. No rainbows. No end in sight. I cry, I sob and I feel pain for them. And the same goes for TaVon Duharte. A young man in Bridgeport who was stabbed last week and laid to rest. Just 17 and his life has been ripped from him, from his family, from his friend and from the world.

I don't know TaVon. I don't know his murderer, an 18 year old class mate. I don't know if anyone will understand the misunderstanding that led to end of these young man's lives.

MY HOOD I am proud to have made it this far in my life, living in my hood. I wonder if I'm going to make it out of my hood, where shooting someone is a problem solver... I dream of the day when I finally leave my hood. I try to stay on the road to success but my hood is trying to keep me home. I hope to make it out of my hood, so that I can show everyone else the way. I am proud to have made it this far in my life, living in my hood. (A excerpt from a poem written in 2005 by Duharte.)

...This sadness doesn't consume me. In fact the rest of my day will be fine. I will go about my business, cleaning house, work out, run errands and visit a friend who just got a pair of kittens. But I had to get this out.
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